Too much things to do...and no time

So, this will be a very short post because I have no time seriously! Ok...so on Mother's Day Mark officially decided that we will name our son, Brayden Israel Brendel. I've really been wanting him to do this for sometime now. So, what a great mom's day gift! Right now I'm completely stressed from work. Everyday something else gets dropped in my lap and I just don't think i can do that task..or that it's not my responsibility..but ofcourse everything gets dropped in my lap because noone else wants to do it. I really don't have time to take on any more stuff. 1 week deadlines are ridiculous...totally not enought time to go through the past 3-5 years on finacial reports and then get into nitty gritty specifics..this will take like a month. I'm only here 25 hrs. a week! They offered to actually pay for my OT, but I said when can I work that? I work at my other job since you weren't able to give me full time here. That kinda shut them up. I think they just said it as a gesture and didn't mean it. They never remember birthdays, admin. prof. days, wk. anniversaries...then when they find out about them a few days later, they say oh..we will take you to lunch sometime...I think they owe me quite a few now. Yeah, I'll never see them. I really feel like I'm over worked, underappreciated, and not respected here, is that bad? I just keep saying...aug. 15th...just make it to Aug. 15th...then you don't have to worry about it anymore! Then, at my other job, my boss for the past 6 years is retiring and I'm doing a lot of work for her on the comp. 'cause she doesn't know how. Not that big of a deal really, but instead of keeping up with the towels, I have to be back there which is fine..but not ok when I want to go home at 5:30pm. 'cause I've been working since 8am straight with no break, not even lunch. I basically have to eat and work at the same time--not so much enjoyable. So, on top of all the stress from work I found out that my friend Stephen Diekmann died this past Sat., 5/12/07 of an apparent Heart Attack. He was 26! No heart condition, he was in rotc and I just saw him 2 1/2 weeks ago...crazy! So, I found out on Facebook of all places. My friend joined the group "We will miss Stephen Diekmann" I thought, where did he go? he doesn't go to Iraq for a couple of months. So, I clicked on the group to find that he died! at 26 yrs old! of a heart attack! What?! This is crazy to me! He had no heart cond. and wasn't taking drugs that we knew of. So, I'm at a lost for words and in a complete state of confusion. Sad thing is I missed everything...missed the showing and funeral because I didn't find out about it until 4pm. yesterday on Facebook. The funeral was yesterday at 11am and the showing was 2-8pm. on tue. Man, not even some of his closest friends knew what happened. I'm soo saddened by his death and so confused. No, I 'm not asking God why, 'cause we all die sometime and it's in His hands...but it just doesn't make sense to me. I also have been very frustrated with one of my french profs. I got a C for her class when I though I deserved a B. I didn't receive back grades for papers, poem critiques, or anything. It seemed as if she pulled my grades out of the air when i would ask what I received. I received back 3 out of 4 papers receiving A, B+, B...So, I was so confused on my C. Well, when i asked her to explain how she arrived at my final grade as a C because it didn't make sense to me, she got kinda mad at me and wrote me an e-mail saying that she was more than surprised that I was complaining of my grade. I wasn't complaining...I'm a C student - always have been with an occaisional A or B. But, when you work really hard and you are looking at the grades she gave you...it just didn't add up to a C, so I asked for an explanation. Well, She wrote a ticked off e-mail back and I wrote a humbling one back saying that I'm sorry that she felt as if I was complaining about my grade. I was just trying to figure out my grad on my own and it wasn't making sense to me. So, we will see how she responds to that e-mail. I still have to take her for a class eventually and I don't want to walk into her classroom and have her instantly be much harder on me, ya know? I know teaches don't play fav's in college---wrong! She likes men more. My friend Sean attended less than 25% of her class and he received an A, he didn't even do 1/2 the work. So, how am I receiving a C from her in a diff. class when I did all the work andreceived good marks for it. unbeknowngst to me! Anyway....I'm done venting. I gotta get back to work seriously! I have a Dr. Appt. on Monday! I might have to switch docs and I'm 25 weeks! More than 1/2 way...stupid medicaid! Well, I don't know what I'm doing about a doc situation...we will see. Lvoe ya, Nikki

More baby news...

So, I'm sure everyone wants to see what Nikki looks like pregnant. Well, here you go! In this pic I'm 4 mo. pregnant, but I'm now 5 mo. and it's a little bigger and rounder. I'm sure you will all see it at Beth's Wedding and Lesley's get together. Well, out of 1062 baby boy names from babycenter.com that I copied into Excel then made a columns that says Mark, Nikki, and Both and then printed it all off front & back taking up like 26 sheets of paper. --Thanks mom for the ink! Anyway, so I picked out 16 names I totally liked and 7 maybe. Then, I placed each name on a scale of likeness from 1 to 10, ofcourse 10 being high. So, Out of all the 1062 boy names & also looking at my scaled down list, Mark only like 2 names - Brayden Israel. So, maybe that will be the little guy's name but it isn't official. Mark said we will put that on the contender list. But think about it... Brayden Israel Brendel...Brayden Brendel...BIB....hmmm...is this a good idea? I do really like that name though and he likes it tons. So, I don't know where else we are going to come up with Baby Names for our son if we went through a list of 1062. I would love to know ya'll opinion, not that it will influence Mark's decision on the name but I would just like to get a feel for the name, ya know? Anyway, I liked Micah, Riley, Edward-as a middle name only, Carson, Corey, Brayden, Ryan, Andre, Evan, oh...I don't have the list on me, but there's an idea of my shortened list that I liked. Mark said only the names Brayden and Israel stuck out to him. I think the names just have to pop for him. I would read off names and he would make a yucky face or a I don't know about it face...I'm really trying hard to let him pick the name although we did agree that I could veto as much as I want to the names that are definitely a no for me. Oh, by the way Brayden rated a 6 on my scale and Israel was on my maybe list at a rating of 5 because I did like that name but not as a first name. Well, I can't wait to hear from you!

I miss my Markey!

Mark has been gone now for 2 days and I miss him a lot. It's very hard for me to sleep when he's not here. I end of sleeping on the couch falling asleep to the T.V., which he hates but I can't sleep otherwise. I do turn on the sleep timer, so that's good. There's no one around to tell me to pick-up my stuff or what they want to eat for dinner. I think that sometimes I show that it annoys me that he tries to be a parent-like figure to me, but I actually think I kinda like it 'cause I need that accountability, encouragement, and someone to keep me in line 'cause I can be an extremely messy person. Mark is very neat and organized so I try my best to kepp things in somewhat of an orderly fashion for him because I love him and respect him. I do get to talk to Markey everynight, sometimes twice. He likes to call me when he's walking around NYC and tell me what he's doing and where he's been. At night, we talk more about how was his schooling that day and his feelings/apprehensions about school and the meetings and assignments he's faced with and such. I love that I can really talk to him. Yesterday instead of buying a babyname book I just got on line at Babycenter.com and found a list of 1062 baby boy names. I figured that will help us both with decision making. Mark does get to name the boy, but this way he can have a list that I definitely say NO to. So far the two names on the list that I like a lot is Keegan, and Evan. I even like André...but we will see what Mark likes when he returns. He gets back on Sun. so pray for a good flight and safety. My sister had her tonsils taken out today. Mom said the surgery went well and fast, but she is now in a 3 hour recovery period before she can go home to recover on her own. I wish I could be there with her. My mom, Dick-cassie's hubby, and Dick's parents-rick & Debbie are with her so atleast she has some people with her. I just want to be there though, she's my little sister, ya know? Well, I gotta get ready to go to school.
Love ya,
nikki

Not Enough Time in the World

I have been feeling rushed lately and my calendar is filling up more than ever! this is now when I start living by a planner. I keep telling myself, just make it through this semester than you'll have atleast a year off from school and then maybe then that & a family is the only thing you'll have to focus on and not have to add working 3 jobs to that pile! Right now I work 3 jobs, go to school PT, try to take care of our apt and my hubby, and dealing with all the pregnancy stuff. I feel like I am going crazy. So, tonight we were supposed to leave for Indy, but that might not happen until tommorrow morning (hopefully, early!) Everytimewe try to leaveon a Sat.it ends up being the afternoon...not cool 'cause than it's Sat.night by the time we reach Indy and our weekend is already half over. Well, here's the plan...Leave tommorrow early am, go to ICF for church on Easter, after church go to my gpa & helen's for lunch, then on Monday do Mark's laundry for his NYC trip, Finally on Tue. take him to the airport in the wee hours hopefully come back to my mom's to rest a little bit then drive back to Evansville because since I had asked off Tue. ofcourse my boss at my 2nd job had to schedule a mandatory meeting on that day so back to Evv I go for a Mandatory Meeting at 2pm. then off to pick up my ref shirt for my 3rd job that has to be picked up that day, then I'm going back to my apt. maybe...I asked off at the PAC, but if I'm already there maybe I should just work, ya know. Well, then the typical week takes over with school & work (3-jobs). Fri. I will be collecting tickets for the Dinner Theater at church and eating and watching the play, repeat that on Sat. night,but also on Sat. at 1pm. I have a bridal shower and then a bachlorette party for the same person, Kate. Then on Sunday I will be driving up to Indy in the wee hours of the morning 'cause I have to pick Mark back up at the Airport and then drive straight back because Mark has to be at the TV Station at 6am. for an Inspector Gadet Spot( a thing his work is making him do) on Monday morning. So that's just this weekend! On April 23 I have my next pre-natal appt. Yea! pee in a cup, check your weight, and give them $25. These appts. are kinda pointless, but necessary I guess. Maybe I'll actually remember to ask the doc about my nose bleeds and my arthritis. Well, then on the 27-29 we will be in Indy for Beth Gustitus' wedding - I'm so excited! I will also get to see Lesley and baby! yeah!!! May 11th weekend I'll be in Indy for Mom's day and my cousin college graduation - i think she's the first Barton with a college degree! Then let's see June... there's a wedding here June 2, then June 23rd my mom's is having my family shower in Indy..hopefully I'll be able to have a friend one on the 24th, but we will see. Then July...I have a wedding in Indy for Rachel Jones on 7/7/07 - what a cool date! and then here I come Hawaii! I'll be ready for a vacation for sure! I'll go to Indy Wed. July 11, Leave for Hawaii July 12, Mom get married on July 13, then Leave Hawaii on 16th and arrive on the 17th in Indy and drive back to Evansville and back to work on the 18th. So, yeah i'll be busy. i seriously have to fit people in my planner, I hate that. But, I'm a forgetful clumbsy pregnant woman so If I don't, I'll forget. Oh my goodness! I just realized that i don't even know when i'll have my Evv showers --1 for Fam and 1 for friends. So, we will see. Well, i gotta go to the bank then home to do dishes and pack..oh my it's 2pm and I haven't even ate the lunch I packed...I gotta do that too! Well, I gtg. I'll see most of you in NIdy anyway..well, me and my little belly. Love ya, Nikki

Human Garbage Disposal

I have been eating like crazy lately. They said that my appetite would pick up in the 2nd tri-mester, but I seriously think that I could eat as much as Mark and we all know that boy can eat! -- Mark hates that reputation that he has received over the years, but it is true. I've only seen Chris Matthews eat more than him. I don't mind that Mark is my human garbage disposal and now I'm right up there with him. Yay! He has an eating partner. :) Normally I eat all I can until I'm full and he finishes it. However, now I can eat it all on my own and then some. When I eat my meal, I get seconds and sometimes thirds. I normally eat until people are ready to go or when I feel that I need to stop because I have ate enough to meet my nutritional needs eventhough I so badly would like to eat some more. Sometimes I just have to stop myself. We had a little less than 2 quarts of strawberries, and for lunch I ate my usual double decker sandwich and almost all the strawberries, but 6 cut up ones. I looked down at the bowl and said, Nikki you've got to stop! So, I decided to save some so that Mark to take some to lunch with him the next day. It gets on my last nerve when Mark eats up something that I didn't get anything of or not much of, so I try to be considerate and let him have atleast a little of the food. :) We had to increase our budget/envelope on groceries by $50 because of my increase in appetite. I am totally not worried about weight gain. I'm supposed to be gaining a pound a week and so far it's been a few weeks and I've only gained 1 lb. Maybe this increase in my appetite will increase my weight. I'll be 19 weeks on Thur. and I've only gained a total of 6lbs. so far since the beginning of the pregnancy. I was 110 when I got pregnant and now I'm 116. Still a small girl, but I definitely got the prego belly going on. It amazes me how much your belly grows without that much of an increase in your weight. I've gained 5lbs. before here and there...and still had a flat stomach, so I'm amazed by this whole pregnancy thing. Things I'm not looking forward to... not being able to wipe after giving birth, maybe even pooping when I push - gross! Nobody ever tells you this when your not pregnant...maybe it's because they don't want to scare you. I'm not scared, just grossed out. Anyway, I have a test to take. I'll ttyl.

New News

Well, ya know that little girl Lillian Nicole that we were expecting end of Aug/first of Sept.? Well, she's now a he. We were told this past Monday that we are now having a boy. We have no name for a boy at all! Mark gets to pick the boy name, and I get to edit/shoot them down. Kinda like the president, and I will use my power to Pocket Veto, for sure. Hopefully we will have one picked out when the little guy gets here. When we were in the ultrasound room and found out that we are now having a boy, I tried to hold back the tears. However, it didn't last long as I could feel the little tears run down my cheek. I still attempted to shake it off and think it's ok...it's healthy and God blessed us with this baby. But, then it crossed my mind, oh no! How are we gonna tell Matt & Lisa. So, I turned to Mark who already started to hold my hand after we found out the news knowing that it kinda upseted us both and we were in total shock. Well, I turned to Mark and said, you have to tell your brother. He said, I know. I repeated myself, and he said, I know baby it'll be ok. (For those of you who don't know Mark's twin bro, Matt and his wife Lisa, lost thier baby boy full-term a little over a year ago around Christmas. Lisa didn't take the news to well when she found out we were pregnant. So, I hope this goes ok, but I don't know. It worries me a lot!) Then, I lost it. I mean I completely balled my eyes out to the point of almost hyperventilating. - If you know me and how I cry, then you know it is normally a silent cry and you wouldn't know I was crying unless I tried to speak, sniffed my nose, or you just looked at my face. But, when I am extremely upset I tend to let out little sounds -really catching my breath. Anyway, it was sad. I tried to keep thinking positive and well, but I was in complete shock. Just 3 weeks ago we were told it's a girl, eventhough the person said she wasn't saying 100%, but she's pretty darn sure. I showed it to my dr. and she confirmed that there was no doubt in her mind, that it was a girl. So, to be planning for the little one to come, my Mamaw Edwards already crocheting a sweater in lilac, and my mom and Helen already buying stuff and we already told everyone and their mom...now I have since called all of them back. Everyone was ok with the news, and I tried to be. Everyone kept saying, but it's healthy and that's all that matters, you'll have more kids, it'll be fine, boys are easier than girls anyway -less emotional, etc. But, I heard it all before and the sayings kept repeating itself. I just wanted to tell people to shut-up, of course I didn't. I talked to Mark about it and he was dealing a lot better with the news than me, eventhough he totally wanted a girl as much as I did. Well, I have been praying a lot about this with God. I have come to the realization that I think I was feeling loss. Like I had lost my baby, 'cause I got so attached to Lillian. I had to be thankful in what God gave me. So, I asked the Lord to help me and forgive me for not being as thankful as I should be. I really am thankful for my little boy. God really did give me the desires of my heart, it was just the desires as a young kid. I always wanted a boy first, to be a big brother and to look out for his sister. But, when i got pregnant, I wanted a girl. I know that Mark & I want to have many more kids, and now we have started we aren't stopping. I don't want more than 5, but who knows an exact #. We will just have them until we know when it's time to stop. I was thinking since I had such a hard time dealing with this new news at first, how I will handle post baby. Will I have post-partum? I hope not. I'll be a stay-at-home mom come August 16th, since that's my first official day that I'll be unemployed. :) I plan on staying at home for atleast a year, and then we will re-evaluate things after that. As much as I would love staying at home for the rest of our kids lives, I want to try to take one step at a time and see how things go for the first year. Well, I hope you don't read this and think I'm such a horrible person, but just know that shock kinda took over but I am now ok and I love my little boy that is growing inside me and loves to give his mommy heart burn and do sommersaults. He's a very acrobatic little guy, especially if I have some caffeine. By the way, you can totally have only 1 caffeine drink a day or 3-8oz cups of coffee a day. So, I'm Ok, plus I totally drink water all the time like I'm never gonna hve water again. Anyway, well I gtg now. I have to run errands, go dropoff my car at my in-laws so that Poppy (dad-in-law) can put on new front brakes. Well, I'll ttyl.

Stupid TIme Change & Hawaii

I had full intentions on giing to class yesterday. I stopped off to use the restroom before going to class and I asked one of my friends what time was it, and he
said after 1pm. I said, What?! Your clocks must be wrong, because I left
work at noon--I knew that I would be a little late. He said, no remember we
changed our clocks. But, I was still in disbelief and got out my cell
phone and sure enough he was right. I spent the afternoon thinking
what went wrong and then it clicked, I thought the computer at work
automaticlly updated the time, but it didn't which caused me to work
over an hour and miss class unknowingly. The first thing I did when I
got to work today was change the clocks, so hopefully I won't be late
to Dr. Roberts' class today. I also found out today that Daylight Savings Time got moved up 3 weeks early, so the computer has not yet adjusted it because it thinks it is not time to yet. Why can't the whole state of IN be on the same time and never change time. So, dumb!

On the other hand...
I had some major complications with booking my Hawaii trip. I totally thought it all got booked Sunday early evening through Cheaptickets. Well, I never got the comfirmed E-mail, so I called. Well, they never got it. Oh no! Mark's CC # was on their and everything..so if it ends up being charged twice someone will have to refund me over $1800 dollars! Well, On Monday I re-booked everything still got the same deal with the same flight and hotel and everything. I asked my BF, Erica, to go with me since I'll be 7mo. and staying in a hotel alone, but she wasn't able to due to a previous trip planned. So, I asked my good friend Amanda, and she said Yes! I'm sooo excited that she's going! I like Amanda a whole lot and we get along great. When I found out that Mark wouldn't be able to go due to Grad School, I thought I need to find someone to go with me. I would just feel safer if I had someone with me. So, I thought maybe my sis was going to go, but she has to have her tonsils out and have her cervix scraped again all done in one week. So, she wasn't able to go. Then I thought who could I ask that I would actually enjoy the trip with and not get annoyed with 1/2 way through. So, I asked Erica, since she's my BF and we've been on trips together before..and if we get annoyed with eachother it's not that big of a deal. We get over it, and love eachother. THen when Erica couldn't go, I asked Amanda. I love hanging out with her and we get along so great. I think it's funny that we sometimes start laughing for no reason and Levi will look at us both and wonder what in the heck are they laughing at, but we are just girls and laugh at silly things. I'm sooooooooooo Excited!!! I can't wait to go! I get the urge to pack already, but I can't pack yet...it's 3-4 mo away. Oh, incase you didn't know, My mom and Turk is finally getting married-in Hawaii on Diamond Head Beach on July 13th - their 18 yr. anniversary! I know we are going to the International Marketplace to do shopping and seeing somesort of show and we are going to see USS Arizona-Pearl Harbor...and enjoying the Beach! I don't want to get it all filled up, but a couple fun things is cool. We might go snorkeling, and the the aquarium..who knows.
Well, I gtg run errand and then go hang with my friend Amanda before I officiate Volleyball tonight. Oh, I got my IHSAA licence to officiate V-ball in H.S. and Jr. High. I'm very excited about that...something to do when I'm a stay at home mommy to bring home a side of bacon or two. It's 75 degrees today and I want to play tennis or sand v-ball or something!!!
Love ya,
Nikki